Husband

So I just found this post in my Day One Journal – from March 24, 2013. 

Looking back on this I’d say this is where I began to start to realize the importance of this paradox of life.

The paradox that it’s important to feel full and whole and complete with what I want – that it was important for me to have, experience and be aware that I am in love with myself, my life, all things. And to really feel that there’s no lack of love in my life. 

And at the same time – to see and know and be certain that my husband is out there somewhere. In perfect timing he’s already in my life. 

The mind almost wants to see them as mutually exclusive – but it is my experience that while it’s not easy for me to have both of these energies running alive within me – that it’s possible – and perhaps a key to creating. 


Love. March 24, 2013

amazing what’s coming up for me about relationships and god and love and personal and impersonal living loving and relationships.

Feel disturbed and out of balance in my relp w a friend. (A friend that I loved but that wasn’t loving me back). 
So I just did clc for Letting go of this imbalance – and got the yellow umbrella – knew quickly it means that I need to look towards my husband. And knowing there will be a husband. Like in how I met your mother. We know Ted finds a wife. There’s knowing certainty and relaxation in that.

So that asks the question. Is that my problem. Do I think I won’t get married? Some parts of me assumes I will. But there is a part of me that fears I won’t … maybe. 

And so what with all the clarity this afternoon about putting all my focus into my service. Into impersonal relationships. Into getting all my live from god? I don’t know. Maybe they’re not mutually exclusive. Light god. Help me.


Honestly who knows how this life works. I don’t. 

But I am glad that when I make an honest please about something – to God – to help me. I’m rarely disappointed. 

I mean have you met my husband?! 

  

Because #IAmLove

Sweating it out at the gym. Dancing on the elliptical to a mixture of Tiesto, Eric Prydz and my husband, and I had an acute moment of awareness. 

Everyone doesn’t dance when they use the elliptical machines. They don’t lip sync. They don’t groove their head, their shoulders, their arms in time to the music. And I was encompassed by an inner curiosity. 

Do people only dance in clubs because others are watching?

Do people listen to serious lectures or music they don’t really enjoy on their headphones and that’s why I don’t see others grooving at the gym?

Does music only move me the way it moves me? 

But what was powerful and revelatory for me was that this is one of the ways I let myself be me. That I let myself have love. And be love. And that dancing is one of the ways the love fills the world through me. 

Because #IAmLove I am free. To be me. And to dance on elliptical machines. 

I did have the thought of getting my husband to video my unique style of elliptical dancing … Maybe I’ll save that for an upcoming post ;)

Instead here’s a cliche gym selfie via instagram.com/zoegolightly. 

 

#IAmRelaxed. I am accepting and loving that front tooth that doesn’t let me close my mouth completely when I relax. I am dancing more love into my body and this wold. 

Because #IAmLove. I am relaxed enough to let me. Be me. 

Do you celebrate passed loved ones’ birthdays?

Through much sadness and tears last night came this revelation … 

That I really want to keep celebrating and cherishing my Mum. I want to remember her and talk about her. And that a lot of the grief that I have dealt with over the years includes sadness that I haven’t done these things. 

And while I have an immense amount of compassion for myself for not talking about her more – or for celebrating her birthday over the years – today I’m choosing to celebrating my Mum’s 66h birthday – with her in my heart, my husband by my side – watching her favorite movie ‘Out of Africa’.

    

Cheers Mum. I love you. Happy 66! 

IMG_2096-2.jpg

Our answers live within … Get to know that part of yourSelf

So I sometimes use a simple 5 step process I created to help me move forward with something. 

This morning – still in bed – but with coffee in hand – I began thinking and journaling about how to share more – how to get reconnected to communicating with my world … It’s always been key to me – that a large part of my life is about sharing my love for spiritual awareness. When my Mum died I began to live as if life and God were against me – and it was my spiritual study that helped me learn that all of life is for me. There is this innate perfect plan that is loving and growing us continually. 

But of recent I haven’t felt very motivated to share online etc. 

So this morning I did my CLC 5 steps* – and asked God for clarity and direction with this. 

Some judgments came up – and I forgave them. 

But I was just really present and following the energy and I lay back down in bed and it was like I was being shown to do these back strengthening exercises. 

My lower back gives me pain from time to time – and I was aware I was being directed to strengthen and heal that area of my body. 

I was also aware I was being directed to strengthen my back bone – to grow a part of my consciousness that doesn’t want to be seen – or doesn’t want to be held responsible for what I do … 

I am again in awe of who we are as humans – so intimately connected and fueled by the Divine. 

And I am again reminded how much I receive from spending time with mySelf within. 

Happy Friday everyone xx.   

  *http://www.zoegolightly.com/clc/

share your awakening

 

I’ve had a very frustrating last couple of weeks.

Trying to move forward with new ideas, with change, with a new direction can be challenging.

So I was talking … i.e. complaining, to my boyfriend about this frustration this morning over brunch, and as I was talking what came alive in me once again was the clarity of direction, purpose and energy I experience by this quote. That for me, in this life, this is what I am called to serve and share.

 

Share Your Awakening

 

 

“All that Spirit asks is that you unfold into greater spiritual consciousness and share your awakening with other people.” – John-Roger from Divine Essence (Baraka)

And just as the last word of that quote had left my mouth … my boyfriend responded with “So how are you sharing your awakening right now?

I’m clear that I want to help and inspire others do this. AND … how am I sharing my own awakening in my life, in my own way, these days?

Hence this blog post of course after some months…

So my awakening in this moment, is that my answers are within.

That my love is within.

That all is within.

So following this awareness I decided to spend some time within, some time with the Me that’s invisible and waits patiently and peacefully, until I’m ready to relax and receive of it.

So I packed a notebook and my computer and headed out the front door with a couple of possibilities: park on a blanket or computer and coffee shop.

And again I became aware of how supported I am. A simple intention met with some right action and my pain seemed to dissolve instantly. It was as if just making the decision to put myself first, to give time to myself, to deal just with myself, seemed to wash the frustration and confusion out of my mind instantly.  I made the decision to nurture myself and spend time with myself … and then I took the action towards that … i.e. pack my bag and walk out the door … and I walked into a new reality … instantly.

And so then in my new reality – the one I can best relate to words in this physical reality – is an experience of surrender and serendipity.

I walked past a neighbors house with clothes for free on the front lawn … and I picked up one that said:

‘upstart’ on the front

‘you are the upstart’ on the back

I couldn’t have more perfectly described my challenge and my solution at this moment.

If I want to see a new start, a new beginning, a new day …

I need to be this new start and this new day first …

I know the Universe will match me. And I know it starts with me.

So the serendipities continue … and I feel surrounded and filled with the joy of this life.

every moment every day

fall … falling … free

John-Roger’s (my spiritual teacher, close friend, and the founder of the organization I study with and work for – MSIA) passed into Spirit last month, and his memorial and celebration is tomorrow.

I have been blessed beyond words to have spent so much time with him personally. I am overcome with gratitude and thankfulness for the opportunity and privilege of our conversations, our meals together, our travel together, of each and every moment spent close to him.

I feel more empowered now to step up. To share my own voice. To share my awakening and to live and breathe the teachings he has brought forward.

I am also rededicating myself to driving and leading my life through this process of Claiming Love Consciousness. To living my life according to my own authority and awareness.

If you find value in doing these 5 steps as needed you are welcome to them. I’d love to share this journey with others. And I’d love to hear about your own awakening, about how you live and breathe the Spirit in your own life …

I am here.
For us all.
In loving and service,
Zoe

1. Stop. Close Your Eyes – Be Right NOW.
2. Move Your Awareness Within – Bring your attention to the tisra til.
3. Claim What You Want – Experience it and be grateful for it.
4. Let Go – Of whatever you do not want.
5. Receive – Be aware and receive of what Love Consciousness has for you just now.

I give thanks John-Roger

happy thanksgiving

Hi all,

So so long since I’ve written. Lots going on in my world. All shades of love, expansion and excitement.

I’ve taken on the role as Director of Communications for MSIA. We’re looking at upgrading our communications both to our current students and to also sharing the Light, love and teachings of MSIA more effectively with those looking for spiritual awareness and a greater experience of Spirit within. If you have ideas or would like to be a part of this work email me.

I’m also in a relationship. Which is new, big and so supportive, inspiring and wonder-full.

I think that’s what I’m most giving thanks for in my life right now. My ability to be in relationship. With everyone I’m working with. With my boyfriend. With friends. With family.

My spiritual teacher and close friend John-Roger passed away October 22nd and it’s been an amazing opportunity to experience death in a new way.

When my Mum passed when I was 14 I interpreted that experience in ways that were against me. And my overall assessment of the situation was that she was no longer going to be with me.

So in dealing with John-Roger’s passing I’ve been very consciously focused on experiencing, remembering and expanding into the awareness of the place and the reality where we are still together. I still have moments where I miss his body. I miss him here physically. But I do also experience and enjoy how close and together we still are.

So I’ve also had the opportunity to look at reframing and re-joining my Mum. So much of that time has come up for me recently. I’ve cried a lot this past month. And I’m so grateful for the opportunity to re-ignite and to experience and enjoy my Mum more in my life on a day to day practical basis.

So this thanksgiving I thank you John-Roger. I thank you Mum. And I look forward to being with you today and always.