Tag Archives: Light


the games we play

I have been working with a technique that I initially called Claiming God Consciousness, which was the basis for my research and individual study for the DSS Program Thesis I wrote a couple of years ago. It’s a technique that I use to bring myself either from a lack of balance, to a more balanced loving place inside. Or if I’m unaware or unclear of an answer I seek, I use this process to be aware of the best answer for me at that time.

While I’m not sure what I’m “calling it” now per se, I am reworking it into a more usable, basic format, perhaps even specifically for children – for a book that is the focus of my USM Spiritual Psychology project.

The technique is simple. It’s just a step by step guide to becoming present with one’s higher connection within, and receiving from that place. If I’m out of balance it helps me receive whatever guidance will help me get back into balance, loving and joy (and sometimes this process is all I need do to get there). And if I’m unclear about a situation or decision, I receive whatever information or direction comes forward.

I’m still playing with the exact set up of this technique for my book, but here’s where I’m at right now …

1. Stop, close your eyes, be still and bring your awareness to the moment that is right now

2. Focus that attention of right now to the tisra til or third eye area (it is the place within your head – where if you imagined a line from the top of one ear to the other ear – where at the middle of that line inside your head would be).

3. Consciously state an intention of love, of God, of Spirit, of whatever words describe the best, the most perfect, the most positive intention for yourself just now.

4. Consciously ask that this positive presence help you let go of anything that is not it – any negativity, any thoughts, emotions, anything that is in your awareness that is less than the love, the Spirit which is your intention.

5. Now receive.

Over the years of using this technique I have realized how my ability to implement each of the five points above – are skills, or abilities. Like hitting a ball with a softball bat, or playing the violin – simply reading or hearing the process and then doing it isn’t how one learns how to do something. It’s in the practice; the repetition; and in the relationship that grows between the actual practice and the one doing the practicing, that learning and understanding takes place.

I’m not sure which muscles or skills I am using in practicing the above five steps, but my ability to do these has changed so incredibly over the last five years in which I have been working with them. It truly is like these concepts, ideas, practices are now my teacher. They each have an energy and a life of their own, and as I do them, they teach, inspire and show me such profound new awarenesses, new experiences, and new levels of understanding of myself and of life.

I began writing this blog with the recent awareness I have had about the process of letting go. In step 4 – it’s one thing to consciously have an intention of letting go, and it’s definitely a skill and ability to truly move into the consciousness of letting go.

We have all heard of letting go and letting God. It’s not hard to grasp the concept. You let go of the stuff you don’t want – a bad thought; a relationship that’s not working; a feeling you don’t want. And you let God – you receive from whatever higher assistance you are open to, to help you bring forward that that you want more of.

But what I have noticed over the last year, is a new level of letting go. As I bring my consciousness present, to the tisra til, and bring forward my intention of Claiming God Consciousness, I then begin a process of letting go.

Initially it was a inwardly verbal request – I would ask that Spirit help me let go of all thoughts, feelings, negativity and anything that was less than absolute love and my highest good. It was a verbal phrase that I did inside my head silently and that was it.

Over the years I have played with so many various ways of letting go – they continue to evolve and expand – and I continue to have different ideas and ways revealed to me – that I keep playing with and learning from. Some of these include:
– Inside my imagination I outstretch my arms, and imagine that I am Jesus on the cross. Flowers grow all around my feet and there is a beautiful green valley below me and a stunning blue sky with a vividly white and golden sun rising. My arms are outstretched and I am letting go of all things.
– I bring my attention to the space within my head – with eyes closed, I imagine a screen in my head and I watch a waterfall of Light flood down, through and around this screen, clearing, cleansing and letting go of anything present within my mind and beingness.
– I viscerally in a very tangible way bring all of my attention to the very smallest point of the tisra til that I can comprehend, and in that focus I let go of everything that isn’t that smallest point of love and clarity. I am often a way of my body physically moving, as I shake off energies that I need to in order to bring all of my awareness to that one point inside. It’s not involuntary movement, but it’s also not voluntary movement. I relate to it like when you step out of the way when something is thrown at you. You don’t need to move – it’s your conscious choice to move – but there is a situation at end prompting and encouraging you to do so.

Initially using this process I got great results. I would feel really junked up, out of balance or depressed, and by following my 5 steps I could come into a greater experience of feeling ok, or feeling love, and of being more aware of my balance and clarity. But it has truly been what has been revealed to me about my own abilities and skills to bring myself into the consciousness of love, into claiming God consciousness that has been the blessing and profound teacher.

I guess like you start out on a softball team, not knowing how to throw, hit, play the game. And while you do learn to play the game, there is so much more going on. You are learning to live, to play, to participate. You are learning teamwork, discipline, overcoming defeat, overcoming embarrassment. You are learning joy, love and moving together in a consciousness of oneness.

So I guess my most recent awareness of my book and of this technique, is that it isn’t about this technique at all. It could be put a bucket on your head, spin 5 times, pat your stomach and then remove the bucket.

What is important is that we participate. That we move forward in action that we define as best we can as action of loving, of joy of service. And in that movement forward we will be shown the way to greater levels of ability, skill and understanding.

I say this, and I write this, for myself. I have for years felt unworthy of sharing my ideas: these ideas, with others, in the worry that they were wrong, inaccurate or would not be useful for others.

But I’m standing up to bat. I am in the game. And I’m here to play, with anyone that wants to.

Me, softball championship a few years ago

Me, softball championship a few years ago


talking to God

Larchmont farmers market

Larchmont farmers market

[I felt inspired and excited to go to the farmers market at Larchmont this morning. I was tired and relaxed with what today would hold for me, and after chatting with God after I woke up, I was blessed and inspired by the sweet serendipities that blessed my morning. From getting a park (which during the Larchmont farmers market is indeed miraculous), to the busker at the market playing my favorite songs.]

I’m so aware in this moment that my big key right now for moving and change and releasing addiction is to in a consistent, authentic way speak to and ask God for what I want – talking to God, listening to God, being with God in these areas of my life.

“We receive not because we ask not”. And if we receive not even when we’re asking, for me it is great counsel to look at what are my motivations for asking and what is it that I’m truly asking for.

In essence, and in my experience as much as I can decipher, it is that I am always asking for love. To be loved, to be loving, to be love. To experience, know, be aware of love and of ourselves as loving … manifests in, maybe, every single want, desire, need on the planet.

And if love only lives within – if the only love that is real and everlasting – only comes from within ourselves – comes from ourselves – from our direct connection to Spirit and God within – is there any need? Any want that is worth paying attention to? Why not just pay attention and get busy at getting my love from within?

Well for me where this becomes challenging is that living in this ideal doesn’t take into consideration the patterns and desires and implications of being a human being. There are things we’ve come to experience and create and develop … as ways to know ourselves in greater ways of that loving that is the Spirit.

So my quest over the last couple of weeks has been to bring myself into greater harmony with this want and need to be beautiful and thin, and for my addictive patterns of wanting to get love, comfort, escape and satisfaction from food.

These two things for me: trying to get my love from food, and trying to get my love from the idea that if I am thin and beautiful I will be loved by others, and therefore I will be loved. These are addictions that I have been given to assist me in learning more fully how to have compassion for myself as human, how to love it all, and how to overcome the challenge and the temptation to get my love from outside of myself.

This is not a new awareness for me. However granting myself permission to truly forgive myself for my humanness, and to extend a phenomenal new level of compassion to myself and my addictive patterns, is.

And while I have used a myriad of techniques and tips and tricks trying to transcend these addictive patterns, to try and teach myself to get my love from within and not from without, my recent focus of simply putting it in God’s hands and asking for what I want, has brought me the most peace and movement forward in this area.

I think what’s key here for me is the fact that I am going directly to the source – the ‘formless’ – for my guidance and assistance.

God has brought so much loving and insight through in so many various forms – in teachings and ideas and programs and techniques and plans and methods to overcome addiction – yet they are all ‘form’.

We are all so unique, all so directly connected to God, that for me recently to step into a truly unknowing place, a completely open and receptive place of “God I don’t know how to do this. Please do it for me, with me and through me.” An ongoing dialogue every day, as much as I can, to go within and ask God to clear and balance these addictions. To love me and teach me through this process. To upgrade my behavior, thoughts and experience to a higher alignment and vibration of you.

And so for the past couple of weeks my experience has been challenging, still so much doubt and so much inner conflict of wanting these things of the physical world, and wanting to make the right choice and the disappointment and condemnation when I feel like I’m falling short. And yet very slowly and subtly I am aware of my ability to forgive myself for these inevitable fallings down. I am aware of serendipitous ways in which I am attracting support for healthy eating and exercise and other ways to take care of myself – to fill and lift myself up with my loving within. And I am through chatting with God, through asking God so often throughout the day – for help and guidance – I am starting to be more aware of his presence in my relationship with food and with these issues.

I am more and more that because I am spending time with him in asking him to be with me through this and assist me through this – I am more aware that I am not alone and that I am not fighting an uphill battle that is futile and doomed on every level. Its a subtle but powerful sense that God is in this with me and I am much more trusting and believing that I will see a successful resolution to this. That I will not be fighting with myself for the rest of my life – pushing, controlling and contorting myself into a particular body image or a particular set of rules about food and being skinny.

My intention is that through grace – that this process be easy, relaxed, natural and joyful – that I gracefully discover a new balance, a new rhythm and harmony with food and with my body image. That God will serendipitously lead me there and that it will be easy and fun. There is no will power or rules needed. Just grace, love and trust, fueled by my energy, time and intention to speak with God, to ask God, to listen to God, and to my very best ability to cooperate with and align with God.

So I’m excited to see how it will continue to unravel … but so far over the last couple of weeks I feel much more peaceful and trusting of myself.

Light to the continued journey … to be continued.

“As you practice spiritual techniques, you become more and more familiar with the flow of energy patterns that manifest within your consciousness. As you become more familiar with the many levels of your consciousness, you feel more comfortable with yourself and with others in relation to yourself. By continually working with the energies inside ofyou, you learn to recognize what they are, their purpose, their function, their direction. You relax more and more with your own beingness, bringing forward a greater integration of all the levels of yourself.

As this happens, you are no longer at the mercy of your physical habit patterns, emotional addictions, mental games, or unconscious urgings. You are able to successfully direct yourself into more positive patterns of behavior and expression.”

- John-Roger

Erik Kufs, Larchmont Farmers Market
Eric Kufs on MySpace


I’m lost and I want to come home

Thoughts for this Friday night … in between doing my best to get my inbox to zero, watching Mad Men season one and eating yogurt with frozen raspberries …

I feel like I’m close to finding something. Some new way of being that works for me that can help me out of this rut. Like I’m lost but I know home’s gonna be around the next corner. Like it’s raining and stormy now, but I know, just somehow I know, tomorrow’s gonna be just fine.

grand canyon zoe golightly 2006

grand canyon zoe golightly 2006

Definitely something about not caring what I look like. I want to care about doing God’s work in the world. I want to care about being a channel for Light and love. I want to be focused on doing God’s work and following God’s will. I don’t want to be obsessed and to lose so much time and energy worrying doubting fearing and over-caring about what I look like.

At the same time I do want to be beautiful. I want to be stunning and stylish and beautiful. I do. And I think that’s a good thing.

Are these different things?! I don’t know.

I think caring about how I look in terms of comparison with someone else or something else or some ideal or norm is what really doesn’t work. But caring about being beautiful and full of love and Light and God’s beauty. Truly beautiful. I think this is where my key is.

When I feel free and confident to express MYself and my own unique style or sense, there’s something more that comes in than just good looks or prettiness. There’s an essence and an energy and vitality.

Like I sometimes get into judging myself for wearing such brightly colored clothes. But I think it’s just a large part of who I am. It’s truly and uniquely what makes me happy.

I found this vintage Benetton ¾ sweater in a thrift store a year ago and I think I’ve worn it once. But I LOVE it. Why is that?

vintage benetton

vintage benetton

But I’m getting sidetracked. It’s not about clothes, or about color, or about physical looks.

What I’m getting at is that there is something that I’ve been chasing that’s been wasting and stealing my energy for sometime. And that’s simply chasing my love from how I look. And I want to know how to let go of this fruitless cause and how to continually, consistently, habitually get the love and the energy and the joy and peace I’m looking for in the world, inside of me. I want to do things and choose things and be things because it’s what I hear inside. I want to be so focused on being true and aligned with what my heart is telling me that I can no longer hear the comparisons, the judgments, the doubts, worries, fears and disappointments of not being, looking, appearing a certain way.

Dear Lord I don’t know what the answers are but I know you’ll unfold them to me. Please show me how to get this love, guidance and reassurance from within, from myself, from my Self. Please help me to let go of comparing myself to others. Please help me to let go of judging myself based on how I look. Please help me to choose my life based on what I want to do, who I want to be, and that’s a shining stunning example of your radiant Light and love. Help me to be, live and breathe that.

And as I write that I do wonder … does that sound naïve, utopian or hopelessly altruistic. Or maybe intensely arrogant and self-obsessed.

And the interesting thing is that it does come from a place inside of me that is so selfish in so many ways, yet selfish in the most positive sense. And I love that this comes much more naturally now, but the motivation and drive for wanting to be God’s love and Light in this world, is because that’s the best way I know to get God’s love and Light in this world. That’s my plan for getting the joy and peace that I want. I know that when I’m in the flow and I’m walking as one with the loving, I am the loving, and I feel, and am aware of such love.

That’s all. That’s all I want. I just want love. I want to be loved. I want to be loving. I want love love love.

And I’m back at the place I usually find myself when I come into the presence of the Lord, of the place inside that is true and whole.

And that is that love is the only thing we have. And that love is the only thing that is.

God help me to see, live, breathe and experience everything as love. Help me to love it all as you, as a part of me, and as all a complete and perfect gift for me.

I’m so grateful to love God in the passionate tangible personal way that I do. I love God more than I love any human here. I love God more than any single anything here. And I don’t know how I do this. I just feel like it’s a gift that’s been given to me. This sense or sensation, this awareness or feeling that overtakes me and makes me feel good all over and gives me this feeling of love for all things. But more than all things … for God.

I don’t even know what God is. I have no idea. And I’m glad I know enough to know that it’s not important, or perhaps more pertinently: impossible.

What I do know is that I love God. And this is my key.

Loving God is all there is. Nothing exists outside of loving God.

And I know on a theosophical level this is true, but to feel and be aware of this as an energy in my body, in my mind, in my emotions and in my life. I am truly blessed. And I am eternally grateful.

“As my Soul began to stir and come awake and consciously seek a path home to God, I began to feel more and more removed from this world and more “homesick” for the world of Spirit. I don’t think this is unique. I think many people experience this in their lives. It often feels like something is missing. Sometimes there is a sense that we don’t truly belong here. And sometimes there are feelings of sadness or despair or a sense of having an invalid life or an invalid expression.

I think these feelings occur when we have separated from our Soul, when we have lost track of its existence and are trying to deal with the world on its terms, rather than nurturing our connection with Spirit.

The Soul wants to experience more of itself because there is joy, loving, and peace. It wants to know itself and its own divinity.”

- John-Roger with Pauli Sanderson (When Are You Coming Home? A Personal Guide to Soul Transcendence)

my wayshower

A quote from my Wayshower John-Roger …

“All along, there was growing within me a longing for Light and for love and for the manifestation of God in some form that I could identify and relate to. My prayer became, “Lord, you can have the whole thing. I just want to know who you are.”
That prayer was being answered all along, though I did not yet realize it. I knew that I wanted a God that was in all things, that was present with everyone, so that we could truly be a family of God and in God. I wanted a fellowship and a brotherhood — a oneness among all humankind. I could sense the reality of that in my heart, though I had, as yet no objective reality to support that.”
John-Roger (From “The Wayshower” CD Packet)

Me with John-Roger in Falmouth, England during his booksigning for his recent book 'Living the Spiritual Principles of Health & Well-Being'

It has been a while since I have written and most of my writing time of late has been devoted to my thesis for my DSS. But I wanted to share something that has been going on of late that is inspiring to me, and one of those, I really want to shout this from the mountain-top kinds of things.

When I read this quote from J-R recently it was as if my whole body came alive. My whole body started tingling and every part of me was saying “Yes me too. Lord you can have all of me too. Dear Lord all of me is yours, I’m here in whatever, whichever way you need me. I just want you. I want love. I want joy. I want to be with and know you completely and entirely.”

So many times in my life I have heard John-Roger say things where I have been aware of this similar kind of resonance, and it’s almost like a relief that says “Oh my God I’m so glad someone else thinks and feels the same. I didn’t dare think that could be true for me, but in just hearing one person stand up and claim that, there is an invitation given, or some form of barriers dissolved, to me also claiming and standing up in that.”

And I am blessed with many wayshowers throughout my life. In fact I’m surrounded by them constantly.

I’ll never forget a good friend sharing about how she gave up sugar for 2 years or so – it gave me instant courage that I might also be able to do the same …

Driving the other day I passed a pedestrian waiting for the lights, just rocking away to his iPod on the side of the street, and it gave me this incredible sense of freedom and inhibition to be myself wherever I am …

Another close friend of mine has the craziest most awesome sense of style and fashion, and her expression for herself, through herself, by wearing whatever SHE wants to wear has also inspired and motivated my own style and the courage to dress for ME and not for others …

And a very close friend of mine inspires me everyday by saying exactly whatever is on his mind. It might not be the popular or politically correct thing to say, but his courage to be himself and not care about how others perceive him has been one of the greatest teachers for me over recent years …

We are all teachers, and we are all students. We teach with our lives. And we learn through our lives.

Reminding me of another favorite quote of mine from Sathya Sai Baba … “My life is My message.”

The more I have the courage to claim what’s real for me, and what’s true, regardless of how popular or unpopular it is, is not only liberating myself, but perhaps for others too. And in this way our love spreads, and the love on the planet grows … and grows.

For My Wayshower John-Roger … I love you. Thank you for all you do, but mostly for all you are.

happiness is not actually eating as much chocolate cake as i can …

from ‘loving each day’ today …

‘By opening up to your happiness within, you have a greater opportunity to bless the world with your happiness.
When we are happy, we are spontaneous and open to participate.
We allow our creativity, that happy energy, to move out into the world and touch others.’
John Morton, From ‘You Are the Blessings’ p. 60

I was reminded today when Frank sent out photos of our softball team, how happy it makes me to do things I love. And that sounds so common sense that it shouldn’t even be worth saying, but I am often surprised how long I can live my life sometimes without doing some of the things I love to do most in life.

me after our championship winning softball game this seaon, with Chris at our victory drinks

me after our championship winning softball game this seaon, with Chris at our victory drinks

our softball team, after winning the championship in our Culver City league earlier this year

our softball team, after winning the championship in our Culver City league earlier this year

Over the last few months my PT has started to become more about doing simply what makes me happy, what brings me joy. Rather than any grand act of service, or divine spiritual purpose, what keeps coming clear and present for me is to live my life driven by at each moment, doing what brings me joy, love and happiness. And what I’m aware of more and more is that when I truly give myself the freedom to do what I want to, to do what I love, to do what makes me happy, that what is present for me … is NOT to ‘go eat as much chocolate cake as I can’, ‘go and watch endless TV’, or go and do some of the other things I think perhaps I’m scared of wanting to do if given absolute freedom to do whatever I wanted to do … but to take my cup of green tea and go sit quietly in the meditation gardens at Prana … to play games or sport with friends … to call my Grandma … to write and share with others …

And what I am becoming more and more aware of, is that when I’m doing what makes me happy, I’m taking care of myself, loving myself, and really filling myself up such that it becomes so much easier to give to others, help others and serve others with the overflowing love that I’m giving to myself.

Perhaps the greatest acts of service, and our divine spiritual purpose is simply to be happy.

Love you all,

John Morton is doing an event over the internet this coming Saturday August 22nd based on John-Roger‘s latest book ‘Serving & Giving’. Join live on the internet, or at 2101 in Santa Monica at 1PM PDT*

cocreation experiment #1

i had a great experience this morning … that i want to share …

so I started the morning feeling overwhelmed with something – like i’d taken on something i couldn’t handle and saw it turning out like a disaster … about 10 seconds of this stinking thinking later, and i regained sanity, and decided that that was all an illusion and something i didn’t want to invite into my life – so i changed my attitude to seeing the situation as ‘this is going to be easy, just ask for the help you need – from your friends and from the Universe – and just see it all working out perfectly. relax and trust that it will be just perfect.’

me thanking my friends for helping with the creation of an incredible Spiritual Warriors East Coast Tour - July 2009

me thanking my friends for helping with the creation of an incredible Spiritual Warriors East Coast Tour - July 2009

and then i thought what a perfect experiment to really test and practice being a powerful creator – a cocreator with Spirit – and to really see that if i just hold a great, abundant attitude to this situation – and line up with the guidance and direction i’m getting from Spirit, from within – that it will all be handled easily and perfectly.

so the situation is doing the catering for a friend’s birthday party … for 40-50 people. for those of you that know me well, you may know my catering abilities aren’t among my strongest, particularly if it involves me physically baking, but that’s a completely other blog … anyway, so when the numbers kept increasing, and i realized i hadn’t really thought this out before i jumped into this wonderful service opportunity ;) this morning i did for at least a good 10 seconds or more ;) … got into “OMFG what am i going to do???”

so i got clearly inside – ask for help … and so i did a shout out to our friends – asking for catering help … and i also clearly got ‘seed’.

so i’ve seeded, and i’ve asked my peeps to jump on board, but most importantly i’m just so relaxed, and trusting and knowing that all will come together gracefully, beautifully and perfectly …

so i’m excited to see just how this little experiment develops, and you know i’ll let you all know about it … stay tuned ;)

so send me Light!!!
sending you all Light for all the wonderful creating you’re doing …
and love you all,

so what do you and I really have in common … ?

Hi dear ones,

So I met someone who was visiting Prana (where I live and work) today, who really touched me with her gratitude and her story … of how my story had touched and inspired her …

me in Woodstock, Spiritual Warriors Screening

me in Woodstock, Spiritual Warriors Screening

Sheila received an email a few months ago – a friend of hers was telling her about my blog among other things – and she read somewhere on my blog about my journey and my experience of discourses and MSIA.

So Sheila went to MSIA’s website to check it out, and ordered discourses.

She wasn’t living in LA at the time, so when she recently moved here, she was excited to visit Prana – MSIA’s HQ – and to perhaps meet me :)

She was so grateful, so alive, so inspired to be in this incredible place called Prana … and she shared openly how she related to my story, and was so inspired by my spiritual journey … and how grateful she was to now be on this incredible path we call ‘soul transcendance’

Again I was reminded how we’re all one … how we all share thoughts, feelings and experiences … and perhaps while I can let myself think I’m so special, so unique sometimes … what’s more real to me is that we are all a mirror and a reflection for and of each other – helping each other through very similar things.

For me it’s incredibly validating, inspiring and empowering to hear from someone going through something similar to me – and to hear so much of me in someone else.

Thank you sincerely, deeply and hugely to all of you who share your stories and adventures with me, and let me know how we’re all sharing this magical adventure called life … together.

If nothing else, it reassures me that everyone goes through tough, tough times … and that everyone feels magic, love and joy at times too.

Cheers to more and more of the magic, love and joy ;)
Love you all,

accept and cooperate with this moment. it's the only one you've got.

Hi dear ones,

So I’m on the couch on my laptop, confined indoors because of a calf injury i did doing a Step class a couple of days ago. Still painful and can’t put weight on that leg.

Just read this lovingeachday.org quote: “Something powerful goes on whenever we direct ourselves towards accepting and cooperating with whatever is in our presence: we move closer to God’s presence in all things.” – John Morton, ‘You are the Blessings’, p.13.

e me at Heide and Howards in the Hamptons - this was last year - July 2008

me at Heide and Howard's in the Hamptons - this was last year - July 2008

Whatever is in front of me, I have the choice to enjoy it and line up with it. And to line up with it 100% – and as if it were designed, carefully and specifically orchestrated for me by some Supreme power from up above.

I had a choice this morning, to feel upset, left out, sorry for myself that I couldn’t go out with everyone this morning when I was left on the couch, to work. And being in the Hamptons, with some of my favorite people, that choice could seem like my only choice ;) But there is always the choice to recognize that wherever and however we find ourselves – is perfect for us – and full of joy, love and learning.

Now sitting on the couch, I feel full of inspiration, excited about the work I’m doing with J-R and Jsu, motivated to move forward in all we have going on, and grateful I have being given the direction to stay at home and work … and write to you all.

I’ve said this before, and I’ll probably say it many many times more, but I am so grateful for my spiritual teacher Dr. John-Roger. I’m here in the Hamptons right now with him with screenings of his movie ‘Spiritual Warriors’, and it’s times like these – where I see how much my consciousness has changed – where I can see that I have created habits of looking for the good, or cooperating and accepting life and all within it, of finding joy and happiness in whatever is in front of me.

Thank you J-R, I love you,
I love all of you,

 J-R and friends, Montauk, Hamptons, July 2008

J-R and friends, Montauk, Hamptons, July 2008

i smile at strangers

So in my journal for my DSS homework at the moment I’m answering the question how did I experience joy in me and my day today? … and this was what I discovered today …

Sharing myself. Connecting with others. Sharing me and putting a little of me ‘out there’ … even when I didn’t necessarily ‘want’ to. Was at the gym for a couple of classes tonight. I’ve only been a member for a few weeks at my new gym, so don’t really know anyone just yet, so I just smile at folks and connect with them that way.

Me Smiling ;)   at Peace Awareness Training 2006, Lake Arrowhead

Me Smiling ;) at Peace Awareness Training 2006, Lake Arrowhead

I am so aware of the power of smiling. And you know it’s almost like it’s a lost secret or something, because there haven’t been too many folks that have smiled at me since I started the gym … so tonight I started smiling at a few random strangers in my kickboxing class, for no reason, but just to share my lovely self with them and connect in some way … and the outcome was just, well, it was just really lovely, it brought me joy, and a feeling of oneness, peacefulness and did i mention joy … ?! I felt more connected, both with the group and with myself, and with what I was doing, with my purpose and joy for being there. Was really just a neat experience.

Love you all,

spiritual protection

So I had a great win today with one of the methods I’m exploring for my DSS (Doctor of Spiritual Science study).

As often as I can, before I do something, like start work, have lunch, go to the movies, or in this case, go to the gym – I have been doing a process I call ALIGNing with Spirit.

Basically it’s this, and I remind myself of the steps with the acronym ALIGN:
A – ask for the Light
L – let the Light clear, heal, energize,
I – I am the Light – claim the Light and my active connection with Spirit
G – God thank you for this and everything. I love you
N – Now God – what’s next? Give me your inspiration, guidance for this event … and then I listen … and then I write down the direction / intention / idea etc that I receive

Well today I was going to the gym, and while I do mostly feel really great about my body, I’m not yet past sometimes feeling fat, bad about myself, or not good enough … particularly if I’m working out next to a super thin, tanned and toned super model ;)

me learning to love myself, love my body, and be OK with me RIGHT NOW.  (with Spiritual Warriors movie tour in Aruba, 2008, working hard clearly)

me learning to love myself, love my body, and be OK with me RIGHT NOW. (with Spiritual Warriors movie tour in Aruba, 2008, working hard clearly)

So before going to my workout this morning I ALIGNed with Spirit, and received the intention to really love myself, love my body, and to know that I am beautiful, loved, adorable, and completely enough.

Well it was kinda amazing … a situation came up where a friend began to point out my imperfections perhaps trying to be helpful, but then continued on telling me i was wasn’t good enough, wasn’t thin enough. And for a while I was kinda suprised and wondering how this wasn’t ‘getting in’ … why his words weren’t affecting me in the way they usually would have?!? And then I remembered my intention, and was so aware of this consciousness of self-loving and self-affirming I had stepped into, and that had protected me from buying into the lack and negativity he was putting out. I mean it was awesome. A huge win for me.

So a few great reminders for me – of course telling myself as much as I can, that I am beautiful, I am loved, adorable and completely enough – always a good, good thing!!!
And taking the time to set a clear intention and ask for a tip, trick or tactic from Spirit for the next event in life … can work magic in ways that truly come in handy.

Love you all,

the DSS (Doctor of Spiritual Science) program is run by PTS – pts.org – which also does AMAZING undergrad courses, workshops, classes etc. and classes online and over email ;)

gold … pure gold

Just received the following email from an amazing free email subscription called ‘God Is My Partner’ by my good friend, mentor and favorite comedian … Dr. Paul Kaye.

I just love how perfect and timely the Universe is … I was only contemplating beauty and what that means yesterday. Maybe tomorrow I’ll share with you what my thoughts were after I spend today breathing in the wisdom of the words below …

Paul sends two emails a week – and they are gold. Pure gold. How to subscribe to Paul’s email is at the bottom :)

Love you all,

Dr. Paul Kaye speaking at the Mystic Journey Bookstore, on his most recent book The Rest of Your Life

Dr. Paul Kaye speaking at the Mystic Journey Bookstore, on his most recent book 'The Rest of Your Life'

from Dr. Paul Kaye …

I find wealth and beauty to be interrelated. If one finds beauty in something, there is a feeling of fullness and expansion. I have experienced this even more so when beauty is found in the ordinary and unassuming.

The comparisons we make with others, and the resultant lack, allow us to too easily slip into playing the victim, so I have thought a lot about how true beauty and true wealth cannot possibly depend on the circumstances of our lives–having money, property, physical attractiveness, etc.

Knowing inside of me that the hand we have been dealt does not truly matter in the big scheme of things, I have struggled with a way to put together, in a workable and meaningful way, a context in which I can view my own circumstances alongside someone else’s and still remain inwardly free.

Last year a phrase came to me that reconciled all the opposing and conflicting thoughts I was having on this (my Theory of Everything):

What determines a life are not its circumstances, but the consciousness in which it is lived.

That gave me the context and altitude I was looking for and it has brought me to a place of greater freedom and neutrality, since.


If I could really get you to understand that you are the source individually of all things around you, you would have the knowledge necessary for your life to come abundantly to you.

When you go out there in the world to “get” things, you are operating from lack. You are saying, “I don’t have this within me, so I have to find someone to give it to me.”

If you could know that you are the source, you would not operate from lack. You would be manifesting your natural abundance, and the presence of Spirit would be with you.

–John-Roger, DSS

Dr. Paul Kaye www.godisyourpartner.org

Dr. Paul Kaye www.godisyourpartner.org

To subscribe: http://www.godisyourpartner.org/subscribe/
To read Paul’s blog: http://www.godisyourpartner.org/blog.php

emergency Light

Hey dear ones,

I have been reminded recently to start using my ‘Emergency Light List’ again.

I started creating this list a few years ago – I keep it on my Palm Treo – so wherever I am if I’m in need of clearing, loving, inspiring, lifting – I can randomly choose something from this list to see if that helps …

Here’s a sample from my list … and have fun creating your own:

Breathe: Take a few deep breaths / Breath of Fire / Exhale to clear any negativity

Complete something: ‘One way to tell if you are functioning in the Christ is to see if you complete things in the world. If you do you are ascending. If you don’t you may be descending. If you have too many jobs too many things to do cut out some of them. Christ is the perfect completer. If you strive towards perfection the work you have started will be finished by the Christ. Your responsibility is to get on with the state of being perfect’ – John-Roger

Draw: Use my pastels to draw a picture / Draw a card or postcard /
Free flowing consciousness drawing or doodling

Forgiveness: do self-forgiveness that comes up / forgive the past / forgive the present / forgive everything always

Free Form Writing: see previous post on how to do free form writing – search zoegolightly.wordpress.com

Journal: journal my thoughts and feelings / journal what happened today / journal my memories of the past / journal my dreams for the future

Love: ‘Focus on love, the divine love. It can increase circulation,
increase oxygen supply, increase vitality. You can feel
great. Dis-ease disappears’ – John-Roger

Meditate: do SEs / do a meditation on my comfy bed / do a meditation in the gardens / go to Sacred Tones or Seminar

me, peace awareness training 2007

me, peace awareness training 2007

Pray: ask God for some help

Shower: take a long relaxing shower / let all concerns, fears, doubts, worry, physical imbalance wash away

Yoga: do some asanas in my room / chant and breathe doing yoga / stretch and relax / do one of the videos

much love beloveds,

belonging longing

hi dear ones,

A dear friend shared something with me recently that has really hit home for me, and made sense to some of the things I’ve been going through recently …

He said that someone once shared with him that: ‘he doesn’t fit here, he’s never going to fit here – the only place you’ll fit is with yourself’.

Me, spiritualwarriors.com Press Conference, Madrid 2008

Me, spiritualwarriors.com Press Conference, Madrid 2008

For me I sometimes feel challenged by wanting to belong, wanting to be part of the group – and these words helped me so much. Helped me see that while I’m busy trying to belong to others, to something, to someone else – the only place I truly and completely belong … is with myself.

Aaahhhhh … this reminder continues to help me breathe easy, relax and just be me.

Love you all,
Just as you are,

you might have guessed that that ‘someone’ was Dr. John-Roger :) j-r.org

if every day were Easter Sunday …

hey dear ones,

Hope you all had truly magical, loved-filled Easters.

I know for me being with my loved ones, eating, playing, hanging out on special occasions like Easter, when it feels so easy to just love everyone, everything, to truly love it all … reminds me that I want to experience this ease of loving EVERYDAY … MORE AND MORE … and i have this tip to share with us from our very dear friend Dr. John-Roger …

‘One key thing really makes this work – and you can do this with the Mystical Traveler or Jesus Christ or the Buddha or your little daughter or whoever – and that is to fill yourself up inside with them. You think of them with so much love that if they were there, you would kiss and love them straight to God. You fill up with so much, with their essence, that you enter into it.’

So if I’m not feeling great, or need some help coming into that place or consciousness within that is just simply loving, Light, and joy … i often use this idea and think, completely fill myself on all levels with the energy and act of loving for someone i truly and unconditionally love. I use God, John-Roger or my brother & best friend Stuart.

love you all so very much,
don’t forget to send me your ideas to share too!

the above quote is from Dr. John-Roger from, Walking with the Lord, page 106

slow down … there's patience, peace and pure grace around here somewhere

hey dear ones,

i love the serendipity of life, and of my life … i was wanting some wonderful message from one of you to appear in my inbox that would be the perfect healthy wealthy happy idea to send to you all … i was a little tired and impatient, rushing to get the work done that i needed so i could get to bed after a very busy DSS (Doctor of Spiritual Science) weekend.

and i received this sweet answer to my prayers … from our good friend Dr. John Morton, DSS ;)

the other reason why this video is so perfect, is because initially i was like ‘i so don’t have time to watch this’, and came so close to deleting it, but something said, ‘hey slow down, and watch this – there’s something here for you’ …

well the practical treatis i’m working on for my Doctorate is actually along the lines of … taking the time to consciously align with Spirit before entering into action, so that i live and create more through God’s grace; through peace, joy and loving.

so i got my bit of God’s grace – this video put me smack bang center in my heart, in my loving, in my joy – and was then able to work from this place of grace … instead of the rush and impatience i was in beforehand.

love you all,
doing my gratitude dance for all the peace, joy and loving i have in my life,
and for each of you,