OK, so i’m writing because i don’t feel like it. Don’t really feel like doing anything right now. Am in avoidance, or boredom, or whatever. So am writing in the hope that having the intention to share something of the Spirit means that I first need to receive of it. And I need some Spirit right now. So I’m doing something to get myself in the flow.
I have been reading this poem recently, as a few friends have recently graduated, and have wanted to share it, blog about it.
Do not stand at my grave and weep,
I am not there, I do not sleep.
I am in a thousand winds that blow,
I am the softly falling snow.
I am the gentle showers of rain,
I am the fields of ripening grain.
I am in the morning hush,
I am in the graceful rush
Of beautiful birds in circling flight,
I am the starshine of the night.
I am in the flowers that bloom,
I am in a quiet room.
I am in the birds that sing,
I am in each lovely thing.
Do not stand at my grave and cry,
I am not there. I did not die.
- Mary Elizabeth Frye
Most times, anyone’s passing tends to remind me of my Mum’s passing. She died of ovarian cancer when I was 14, after an intense battle over 3 years. At times it’s still tender, and at times I’m so in the flow of the beauty and the grace of what an extraordinary experience that was; and is; of all the experiences that followed and follow; of all the strength, overcoming, forgiveness, trusting and loving I have come to know and am coming to know, in that process.
I remember someone asking me some years after my Mum had died, what was the greatest thing I had learnt through it all. And I remembered telling this friend, not really even knowing what it meant myself, it was more of an ethereal, abstract experience that I couldn’t give words to – but the closest words to describe it were – ‘That we are all one’. I had this huge expanding sense inside myself that there is no separation, that in the bigger picture, the greatest truth, we were all one.
And I try not to mentalize this process too much most times, but I am aware that in part it was the experience of true separation that enabled me to experience this oneness. This unity. It was the experience of feeling, thinking, believing that my life was so unfair, that I was in so much pain, that my life was so badly ruined and I was so badly hurt – that noone else could understand this pain, that I was separate, alone, and unable to be understood. I truly believed that others that had not been through such a journey could not know and relate to the pain, hurt and aloneness I felt.
And then I began to learn and to open to the possibility that everyone went through hurt. That everyone experienced pain. And that everyone was being dealt lives that in some way or another could be perceived as unfair or cruel. And you know there aren’t words to describe this part of the process. I don’t know how I got to this place. But I do know that the shift took place shortly after I began reading discourses and working consciously with my teacher John-Roger, and the Mystical Traveler consciousness.
I started wanting to have my Mum back in my life as a positive uplifting aspect, instead of enjoying wallowing around in my sinking sea of self pity. And of course no she would never be in my life physically again, but my relationship to her – the space inside of me, my thoughts, my feelings, my heartfelt experiences of her and with her – could stay full of pain and hurt – or I could perhaps have the joy, upliftment and love back that I used to have.
Perhaps this process is one of my best reference points for grace, for God, and the work of the Mystical Traveler. Because while I have mostly maintained a positive intention to reclaim a positive relationship with my Mum – I truly don’t feel like I’ve done the work, or done the processing / grieving / counseling, etc etc that I imagined it must take, and often seems to take others, in order to transform such a negative perspective – or negative relationship – into one filled with so much Light, joy and loving. So much positivity. So I of course I don’t know for sure the hows and the whys of all of this, but I get that it is through grace, through God, and the sweet divine blessing of having the Mystical Traveler help me clear my karma, that I somehow magically have a positive relationship with my Mum again. That much of the pain, the grieving has been cleared, without me consciously or actively really doing anything here physically to achieve that.
I’ve told this to people many times, and what it feels like to me, is that something gracefully, magically came in and simply cleaned out so much of the hurt, the pain, the karma relating to that part of my life, to my relationship with my Mum. And for this I thank J-R. And I thank John Morton. And I thank the Mystical Traveler.
And I am still in my process. I am still in the process of transforming the hurts into joy, of having the hurts transformed into joy: however all of that works. And I continue to ask that the grace of God, that the Christ and the Mystical Traveler continue to work with me in those wonderful, magical, invisible and completely woo-woo ways.
And I think John-Roger says it so perfectly, and describes our work so well in this quote:
“Look for the good in people and things, and all the rest leave to God.”
And as we come into Easter:
“The loving that you have for yourself and for one another is God’s love. There isn’t any other love. Your loving heart is God’s loving heart. Your body is God’s body. The God that you are is all the other ‘Gods’.
In God, you have your living and breathing, your coming in and going out, your death and your resurrection.” – John-Roger, from Loving Each Day
I love you all,
And so I also just googled: ‘we are all one quantum physics’. As I have a fascination for the latest ways that quantum physics and the world of contemporary science are proving God, grace, and all things woo woo. And one of the first videos I found was the following, and includes John Hagelin, (one of the physicists from What the Bleep) and he shares that: “The deepest level of truth, uncovered by science and by philosophy, is the fundamental truth of unity. At that deepest sub-nuclear level of our reality – you and I are literally one.” We really are living in exciting times.