How Do I Know If I’m Blocked From Love, Intimacy, or Marriage?
I hear this a lot.
I offer this simple guide to find out if there are unconscious blocks that still hold a charge, resistance and are actively keeping you from allowing love into your life.
Uncovering Unconscious Blocks: A Guide To Inner Resistance
- Bring forward the most challenging experience in your life. The ones that has brought you the most tears, the most emotional pain, the one that have caused you the most upset, hurt or frustration. Write it down. In great detail.
- Now, remain connected and present with how this experience makes you feel today – NOW – in this moment. Answer the following questions from this place of receiving and connecting with this part of your life and it’s influence on your life right now.
- How light, free, joyful and expanded does this experience make you feel around your heart center?
Answer with a value of 1 – 10
Where 1 is completely heavy, contracted, sad and pain that contracts and closes down your heart center
And where 10 is completely light, free, joyful and completely expanded energy radiating out from your heart center.
- How grateful do you feel for this experience?
Answer with a value of 1-10.
Where 1 is the complete opposite of grateful: you feel like this experience has taken from you and is against you in every way.
Where 10 is completely grateful: you feel filled to overflowing with gratitude and appreciation for how this experience has blessed and contributed to your life.
- What does your face do when you think about and are present with this experience?
Answer with a value of 1-10.
Where is 1 bitterness, you mouth contracts and closes, your eyes contract and are sorrowful.
Where 10 is your mouth automatically springs into wide smiles and your eyes soften as if you’ve seen a baby or labrador puppy.
- Repeat the above steps 1 – 5 for the next most challenging situation that comes present in your life to date.
- And repeat steps 1 – 5 for a final time and the next most challenging (the 3rd most challenging) experiences that comes to mind for you.
This is simply a guide. This is not meant to be accurate or to distill your life and it’s experiences to numbers.
It will however give you a rough sense of whether you are holding in your body, large resistance, againstness, misbeliefs and misunderstandings that may not be conducive to you receiving and allowing love, intimacy and marriage in your life.
Total sum of 3 – 12
Profound Relationship Opportunity
Deep hurt, resentment, resistance and negative energy is still present within you.
You have an incredibly beautiful and bright opportunity to transform this block into the energy of allowing, receiving and co-creating more love, intimacy and marriage.
This may require significant time and energy, however the depths of our pain will reveal the height of future loving and joy. You truly have an incredible opportunity to create profound love and connection in your life.
Total sum of 13 – 21
Significant hurt, resentment, resistance and negative energy still present, however clearly you have already spent time and energy in bringing these experiences into completion, transformation and gratitude, which has paid off.
You have a beautiful opportunity to transform this block into the energy of allowing, receiving and co-creating more love, intimacy and marriage.
Healing these blocks may require time and energy, however the rewards of an increased depth and sweetness of the love in your life, will be worth it.
Total sum of 22 – 30
You have either through grace, or through much time and energy, have released much of these painful experiences from your body and your levels of consciousness.
You may have more healing and releasing to do, however a clear intention and patience could be the only thing required to allow love and marriage fully into your life.
My Own Journey from Sadness to Sweetness
For me — my most challenging 3 experiences to date — are the death of my Mum at age 14, enduring bulimia for 15 years, and being sexually abused at 7.
Each of these experiences produce such joy, love and gratitude in me that they open my chest, put a smile on my face that’s real and sincere, and soften my eyes with sweetness, compassion and thankfulness for how blessed I have been with these experiences.
For each of these experiences, about 3 years ago, I rated around a 6. They were painful, heavy and felt deeply unfair.
Today I’m around a 28. I know and experience these situations as gifts from God. They have given me my strengths, my service, and my heartfelt work in this world. Read more about my story.
I do this work because it has profoundly changed my life, and helped me come into my own natural flow and grace of love, and success.
What has worked for me, has also profoundly worked for others. Each of these clients that I offer as reference points for the power of this process have worked with me in one-on-one committed coaching relationships.
Each person’s journey is unique. So please do not compare your journey to anyone else’s. Rather these examples can be reference points for what is possible, and for the healing that takes place when we commit to what we want, and then do the work to release the blocks in it’s way.
From Despair to the One
A stunning 37 year old female client began working this process of ‘allowing love’ about 6 months ago. She rated a score of 1 for the death of her brother and best friend. She was then caught in a pattern of being attracted to men that couldn’t commit, and settling with men that were safe but not the one.
She is now a 9 or maybe even a 10 for the passing of her brother and best friend, and let go of the safe boyfriend a few months ago, and has been with her ‘possible one’ for a couple of months now.
From Criticism to Compassion
A beautiful 45 year old female client began working this process of ‘allowing love’ about 9 months ago. She rated a score of 4 for the way she was raised. Her father was critical, never emotionally available, and never affectionate or loving towards her. She was then caught in a pattern of making all the men in her life wrong in some small but critical way. She always kept her distance and portrayed an image to the world of how perfect her life was, when her truth was that she was deeply lonely.
Today she is around an 8 or maybe now 9, and experiences such closeness now with her father. She now feels a deep and trusting compassion for men in her life, and is dating.
From Falling to Drugs to Falling In Love
A gorgeous 49 year old female client began working with the process of ‘allowing love’ only 3 months ago. She rated a score of 3 for the experience of her abusive cold father growing up, and a score of 6 for her experience of drug addiction. She was caught in a pattern of working all the time, and of dating only ever for fun.
Today she is around a 7 for the experience of her abusive father, and around a clear 10 for her process of addiction and getting sober.
She is currently dating a man, and they only recently clearly communicated real deep feelings for each other. She is also much more relaxed at work, and much clearer that her happiness does not depend on her success in her career.
‘Allowing Love’ is 5 consistent experiences.
I give these 5 experiences away for free here: ‘Allowing Love: Free Online Coaching System’.
Please use them, adapt them, make them your own, and feel free to share them.
Get The Support You Need To Make Any System Work
Research has proven, that when making a life-changing transformation — 90% of people fail when they try to change on their own. Fast Company reported these odds in this fascinating article ‘Change or Die‘.
That’s mind blowing right?
From life threatening disease, to corporate performance, the odds of successfully making a large change in your lifestyle WITHOUT SUPPORT, is on average, 1 in 10.
So whether it’s a friend you trust and love, a qualified professional, or a dedicated support group — if you’re serious about a major life change — don’t do it alone.
Moving from criticism to compassion, despair to deep love, or from drugs to love — requires the ongoing support of Soul to Soul support and nurturing. So while I encourage you to dive in to my new free online coaching system — make sure you create a support network to set yourself up for success.
I Want To Support You For Free
I am still playing with the various ways I can support people for free, and I am working on more free Online Group Sessions. Make sure you have subscribed to my free Weekly Email Coaching in order to receive updates and invites.
If You’re Ready To Get Some Skin In The Game
I am taking on two new one-on-one clients this month.
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