Marriage or Career? Which one do you choose?
A happy, fulfilling, nurturing and supportive marriage? Or a successful, fulfilling and expansive career?
We may not have it all together, but together we have it all.ANONYMOUSOr … can we have it all? Can we have both?
I believe we can. And I have experienced that we can.
I am aware of a new spiritual era of marriage — where we can truly and profoundly have both — but we need to let go of a few things to get there.
Single and Successful
I have yet to hear a man ask for advice on how to combine marriage and career.GLORIA STEINHEMFor most of my life I thought I preferred being single.
I was in love with my meaningful and fulfilling career.
I was traveling the world.
I worked, lived and played with people I loved dearly.
And while I was genuinely happy in so many ways, I began to be aware of a part within that deeply wanted to get married and create a family.
This small, still voice within wanted deep connection, intimacy, and genuine sharing with another Soul…and been creating a variety of imbalance in my life to get my attention — to get me to finally do the work to overcome my fears of men, love and marriage.
As I began healing the aspects of me that had been ‘protecting’ me from men, hurt and rejection, I also became aware of new freedom and courage in my career.
My blooming courage in relationships began to cross-pollinate into my career…
How we show up in love, can dramatically affect how we show up in our career
My career had always revolved in some way around sharing other people’s words,
sharing other people’s’ experiences and truths…
but as I embraced and allowed my vulnerability — which is a required risk for falling in love — I also began to grow in my ability to take risks and play a bigger game in my career.
Your own Self-Realization is the greatest service you can render to the world.SIR RAMANA MAHARSHI
I began to be aware of a calling to share my own words,
my own experiences,
and my own truth.
And I know it wasn’t purely coincidence that this happened around the time I was receiving and expanding into my new relationship, and into marriage.
Married and Successful
Both my husband’s and my own careers have THRIVED since being together.
Not just energetically, but physically and financially as well.
That is no coincidence. And it’s no coincidence so many women are asking me this one same question?
I really do think I’m ready for marriage, I want to have a family, I so deeply want that … and yet I also really need to focus on my career right now … I love it … and I really want to take it to the next level … So which should I choose?
I’d say 9 out of 10 women I’ve spoken to in the last month — have fallen in this category of so clearly hearing the call into marriage — but also hearing the need to focus on career and up-leveling service in the world.
So How Do We Have Both Successful & Fulfilling Marriages AND Careers?
Because of this, I have done a lot of retrospection on how I allowed my own marriage and new career into my life.
I am very clearly aware that the way that I allowed both my marriage and my expansion in my career was actually the same goal // the same essence // the same intention.
I want a steady hand, a kind Soul. I want to fall asleep, and wake, knowing that my heart is safe. I want to love and be loved.SHANA ABE
I was so clear … that the number one prerequisite of a relationship for me, was that we would both support and expand each other more fully into Spirit.
And I was so clear … that the number one reason I wanted to share my own voice with the world, was to support and expand me more fully into co-creating with Spirit.
My clear and conscious intention was ‘God, please support and expand me more fully into greater Spirit — use me in greater ways — expand me more fully into how I can be of service.’
My words are useless. Only YOUR experiences will change your life.
This all just sounds like nice words, I know. But if you are open, and if it’s your timing, this intention will revolutionize the way that all things work in your world, and in my experience, truly has opened me into a new flow of grace — a flow of Allowing Love.
Humor me … What if God was the one handing out marriages … ?!
If God’s purpose was to have everyone awaken into who they are as love // as a Soul // as God — if God were handing out marriages, and handing out success — don’t you think it would be easier for those with a higher intention in life and love to receive of those gifts, by coming into alignment with what’s already prepared?
I’m not saying this is accurate — God works in mysterious ways — but relating to God in this way, and genuinely asking for a husband with the intention of service, expansion, learning and loving — empowered me in really experiencing my marriage — even before it showed up physically.
So if you’re aware of a Soul-centered marriage as a deep and profound intention in your heart — AND also a Soul-centered career / work / passion in life — I encourage you to consider that these two goals // these two intentions are showing up in order to expand you into the one most important goal // most important intention in your life?
Here are 3 practices that I encourage all of my clients to do daily.
The catch however — is that you have to make them your own — your flavor // your taste // your vision.
Be brave. Take risks. Nothing can substitute experience.PAULO COELHO
And in my experience — trying to figure it out mentally, and forcefully — doesn’t work. However simply sitting down, trying things, having a go, getting into the flow and just leaning into things — in the action // the movement // and the engagement of these ideas — your own unique way will come forward naturally and powerfully.
1. Ask and Awaken
Every day, in your own unique way — be in the experience of Asking God to allow the perfect husband for you to come present in your life.
Ask with the devotion and intention of allowing the partner that will profoundly support you in your greater service and spiritual works on the planet at this time.
2. Let Love In
Every day, however works for you — also take the time to Listen to God’s response within — hear the guidance and advice that comes present in your meditation.
Develop the discipline of waiting and listening to the silence, and receive your answers, your guidance, your next steps from within.
3. Line Up With Love
Every day, follow one of your intuitions regarding a relationship, however small and inner, or however large and physical.
No I’m not single. I’m in a long distance relationship because my boyfriend lives in the future.ANONYMOUSFor me this was spending a few moments, being held by my ‘imaginary’ husband in each night before sleep. I viscerally lived for a few moments, in the feelings, the thoughts, the experience of how my perfect husband would share cuddles with me before sleep.
For a clients of mine it’s been:
- Making eye contact with at least one man every day
- Connecting with your ideal scene, tangibly and emotionally, every day
- Sharing or connecting deeply, genuinely, with one person every day
These are the first 3 practices of the Allowing Love process.
And with all practices, I encourage you to deeply ask for the highest good for all things, before doing any kind of spiritual practice like this.
Your life is up to you.
If you want to get married — I don’t encourage you to pour all your energy into dating. I encourage you to pour all of your energy into YOU — into getting clear with WHAT kind of marriage you want — and WHY you want it.
And if dating is one of the ways that your heart naturally guides you forward — then go for it! But dating is not the only way to marriage.
I have three clients right now who are NOW in a relationship with someone who they believe could be ‘the one’.
This is why I do this work. And while I cannot GUARANTEE that our work will lead to marriage short term, I know that if you continue to stay connected to your perfect marriage within, and deeply heal and reframe the imbalance that shows up for you, that it will show up physically for you.
I am taking on two new clients in April. You can schedule your complimentary session here.
And while my one-on-one fees are not going to work for everyone, I am working on creating a group program that will work for more budgets AND create the kind of community support that I do hear many clients asking for in their lives.
Please email me directly if you would be interested in a group program for women only — focused specifically on releasing blocks to marriage.