For most of my life I couldn’t cry in front of loved ones.
I couldn’t share my ‘vulnerable human struggles’.
It was more important to me that my loved ones saw me as strong, happy, and successful.
I first learned to cry in personal growth type workshops.
That was a great start.
But it wasn’t until I started to share and cry with the loved ones in my life, that I allowed myself to open to marriage … and to my own career success.
I didn’t know that learning to be intimate and vulnerable with my girlfriends …
would lead me to intimacy and marriage …
But it did.
And I didn’t know that my ability to be intimate and vulnerable with my husband …
would lead me to greater courage in sharing my voice and my gifts with the world.
But it did.
When was the last time that you allowed yourself to share vulnerably about a human struggle,
to cry, and to be held by a loved one?
Developing our ability to show up imperfectly,
to allow our human struggles to see the Light of day,
and most importantly for those struggles and challenges to feel the love and embrace of a loved one,
is critical for success.
Critical. For any kind of success.
We can heal ourselves from past hurts,
by being held by another.
We can expand in our clarity and courage,
by being seen … really seen … by another.
My love and support for you just now is simple. The next time you become aware of a ‘human struggle’, choose a trusted loved one and invite them to do this process with you.
It’s important to help that loved one meet you, see you, and hold you in a way that’s going to be healing for you.
And so while I know many of you already have your own ways that work well for you, you can also consider the following guidelines to support you as you resonate with them.
Allow Your Human Struggles to Be Held and Healed
- Choose a loved one that you trust.
- Ask them if they would be able to hold for you as you’d like to share about a challenging situation you have right now.
- Meet in a safe space – one where you feel safe and free to be as vulnerable, and as authentic with your feelings as possible.
- Let your friend know that you don’t want them to fix you, or to give you advice, or to actually ‘do’ anything.
- Rather, let them know that you would be so grateful if they would simply just hear you, see you, and hold for you. (Not necessarily hold you physically – but if that physical form of holding can be powerfully healing.)
- Thank your loved one. Take this precious opportunity to really appreciate them, for this moment, but for whatever else comes present to share at the time.
These simple six steps change lives every day.
Consider sharing them with a friend, or someone you know is struggling a little recently.
Consider that showing up in your relationships – from your closest loved ones to the strangers we’ll meet just once this lifetime – that this energy of ‘holding’ – of hearing, seeing and really holding for each other, can be a healing vibration you share with your world at large.
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